Who are we. . .

What happens to people ? At what point do we decidedly take on the weight of the world and carry those who can't cope ? Is in bred into us, a part of our genetics or perhaps a learned behaviour ? Those who depend on us who have stepped up, whether out of necessity or demand, will they always be dependants ? Are we helping or hurting them ? We all need to lean on someone at some time. But some people can't stand up on their own, and wait for us to come back and pick them up. Which we do, selflessly, time and time again. Why ? It is a part of who we are. What we know ourselves to be. We don't know any another way. So we help as best we can and we don't stop until we know everyone is going to be okay. We worry..... a lot. Then something happens, and you find yourself needing someone, who ? Who do you turn to ? They all know you to be strong, expect you to be strong, they need you to be strong. So what then ? This is who we are, right ? So what then ?

I don't get people, I mean I really do not understand them at all. What the hell happened to people ? When did we become this non interactive, anti social, me me ME group of people. What happened to being nice just to be nice. I hold the door behind me for men, women and children alike. I look people in the the eye and I certainly respond to them when they say Hello or ask how I am. Wasn't there a time when we did kind things for each other? Helped an elderly person with their groceries, shovelled a neighbours walkway. Basic human kindness. This rant was in fact brought on by an instance I had with the kindness with others or lack there of. My boys missed the bus, just yesturday as a matter of fact, so I gathered them up and we jumped in the car. Now I realized I needed gas so grabbed a $20. from my purse and not thinking at all .....left my purse. On we went to the gas station closest to us, which by the way is in a town with a population of about 200 people, anyway; while trying to disfuse a fight with my two youngest I carelessly let the pump go over the $20 I had brought to $20.47 !!! I frantically searched the glove box, floors and nothing, not even a penny and well we already know where my purse was, so I went in to pay with my lone $20. and tried to explain my situation. Boys are late for school I had an appointement with an conditioning/heating company at 9am which at this point we were 4 minutes from, he was completely unsympathic. I asked if I could bring the .47 back after the serviceman had left which let's face it could be hours. Reluctantly he said he would personally pay the .47 and I had to leave my name, address and phone number. Now, he was off at noon and I told him I wasn't sure that I could be back before noon, would it be okay then if I brough it to him this morning. . . . he said "Just try and make it back" I thanked him and left. Well the service man didn't in fact make it to my house until after 10 and was there until almost 2. I had convered my bases with the gentleman at the gas bar and intended to take the .47 to him on my way to work this morning. Well, at 9:00 last night the phone rings..... yep, he wanted to know where I was with his .47. I explained to him that things ran late and had reminded him that he said it would be okay to do this morning if I wasn't able to make it there before he left. He said "You better be there tomorrow morning" Then asked me what time I would be there. I thanked him again and got off the phone shaking my head. Well you had better believe I was there first thing this morning with his .47, in a nice yellow envelope with his name on it and to my dismay he wasn't there. I approached the counter with an explaination ready to ensure the gentleman got the envelope. No explaination needed. The envelope was plucked from my hand with the words "This is Ernie's money ?"
Enough said. . . .